Do I pull this trigger or trust that my nightmare will somehow take a better turn?
Do I admit to myself that every problem I have is either caused by or made worse by active addiction?
Do I stay in this exhausting footrace with an untiring death, or do I get clean---free from the pitiless chains of addiction?
Do I keep doing what I've been doing and keep getting the slams I keep getting, or do I open my mind enough to try a different way?
Do I go to where the kind of help I need is, or do I keep drawing from the dry well of my own thinking?
Do I reach for freedom and life, or do I continue creeping through the muck of shame, guilt, illness, debt, loneliness, and despair toward a certain and demeaning death?
I like happiness. It makes me happy. It feels good. That's why I do what I need to do to stay clean: Meetings, Higher Power, Step work, sponsor, sharing --- it really is much less bother than being borderline suicidal 24 hours a day.
Do what you need to do for today.
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