LIVING ON BORROWED TIME

     Overheard this at a meeting some years ago: "I used to think that in recovery I was living on borrowed time. In fact I was living on earned time."

SOMETHING NEW TO WORRY ABOUT

     Every worry is a negative prayer, an error message to one's Higher Power that it just doesn't pack the gear. If your Higher Power is that wimpy, you need to upgrade because a wimpy HP can't keep you clean.

     If your HP isn't wimpy, then why worry?

     Always keep the dynamic of addiction in mind: If the recovering addict gets miserable enough, the addict will use. It isn't any more complicated than that. Can worrying solve problems or accomplish anything positive? Can worrying make the worrier miserable? Can it affect the worrier's health? Can it affect the worrier's loved ones?

     You know the answers.

     If you worry, why pray? If you pray, why worry?

SMART AND DUMB

     There is a saying in the writing business that I found useful in staying clean and growing in recovery. It is called "Nolan's Observation," and, no, I do not know who Nolan was or is. It goes like this:
     "The difference between smart people and dumb people isn't that smart people don't make mistakes. They just don't keep making the same mistake over and over again."

     There is another saying attributed to writers Mark Twain and Tom Clancy: "The difference between reality and fiction? Fiction has to make sense."

     Be careful out there.





TOMBSTONE SOBRIETY

     The day after Thanksgiving and I'm thinking about those I've known in the program who went out again, used, and died. It reminds me of something I heard years ago at a meeting: "Every time history repeats itself the price goes up."

     If you've been the route of addiction, recovery, and relapse, you are familiar with the relapse price schedule. The last few items on the cost sheet are read out at the beginning of every Narcotics Anonymous meeting: "Jails, institutions, and death."

     Why does this need to be pointed out and repeated until everyone becomes bored by the repetition? That's because the disease of addiction talks to addicts and is articulate, entertaining, and clever in doing so. Addiction first tells you that you haven't got it. Then it tells you it wasn't so bad. Then it starts moaning about all the friends and fun you're missing. And somewhere along the line it coaxes you into thinking life is too dull or painful to endure without help. Finally it convinces you that one drink or one drug won't hurt.

     Take a lesson from John F. who stumbled into my home group, The Dragon Slayers in Farmington, Maine, attended meetings, got clean, entered counseling, and after one particular counseling session went to our meeting and shared with us that his counselor had recommended to him that he go to drug rehab. After sharing that with the group, he asked for feedback. Short version, we all agreed with his counselor. He definitely needed to go to rehab.

     He said he needed to think about that.

     Three nights later, he went to a bar, got drunk, got into a fistfight, and was beaten to death.

     Be careful out there brothers and sisters. The dragon never sleeps and there is nobody using down in the graves.

THANKSGIVING

     Tears? Despair? Depression? Disappointment? Anger? Hopelessness? If you live in the United States, this holiday is called "Thanksgiving," or "giving thanks." Thanks to whom? Thanks for what?"

     Yeah, the disease of addiction doesn't want you to feel grateful for anything because grateful addicts don't use. If you are pondering what to be grateful for on this day, begin with being alive and able to write a gratitude list. Go ahead. Use pencil, pen, computer, pad, or beach sand and begin writing down what you are grateful for. I always start with being grateful I'm not a turkey.

     List them: Who do you love, like, or care about? Who loves, likes, cares about you? Have you been clean so far today? Got plans for today? You can always make it to a meeting or call your sponsor or someone in the program. There are those who believe that N.A. stands for "Never Alone." Got a job? Prospects? Health? Health getting better? Can you laugh? Can you love? Can you care about anyone else?"

     The only way you can be grateful for nothing is for the disease to be in 100% charge of you and your brain. The theme is survival. Do your gratitude list and have a really great day.

Use this to put a smile on your face.

THE PROMISE

     Much of the sharing at the meeting was about relapses, sometimes called "slips." Both terms refer to picking up, using, giving in to addiction by taking that first drug. Those at the meeting who had experienced relapses, using after getting into recovery, they all said the same thing: "It began by stopping going to meetings."

     This pattern was one of the first things I noticed when I was new in recovery. Those who went out, used, and managed to struggle back again all said the same thing: "I stopped going to meetings."

     Those were the days when I considered myself terribly unique, and if I relapsed and managed to make it back again, I didn't want to have to resort to that threadbare cliché "I stopped going to meetings." So I made a promise to myself: If I ever found a better way to stay clean, or found a good reason for me to no longer attend meetings, I would go to my next scheduled meeting and share my discovery with my fellow recovering addicts. I mean, why keep all this good news to myself?

     Since I made that promise to myself almost thirty-five years ago, I've found dozens of really good reasons to quit going to meetings. However, by the time I was sitting in that next meeting, without exception, they all sounded either sick, stupid, or both.

     Whenever you are arguing with yourself about whether to go to a meeting, remember that the thing holding down the "don't go" side of the argument is the disease of addiction.

WHEN EXPECTATION FAILS

"The way people deal with things that go wrong is an indicator of how they deal with change." ---Roberto Goizueta

     On college campuses in the U.S. there are "cry-ins," disappointed and distraught student exam dispensations, and regiments of counselors made available to student Clinton supporters who have yet to accept that their candidate did not win.

      In the streets in many of the nation's major cities, there are protests and, in some, violent riots because Donald Trump won the election for president of the United States.

      The  subject is change, and how most persons deal with change is not the concern here. How those in recovery from addiction deal with change is the concern.

      What is it going to take for you to say "To hell with it!" and pick up that drug? Whatever it is you have set aside for a good enough excuse for going back to using is called a "back door." If this happens, then what's the point in staying clean? If my mate leaves me, if I lose my children, if I get fired from my job, if I go bankrupt, if my health takes a turn for the worse, if taxes go up, if Trump wins the election . . .

      If all those things happen, don't pick up. There is no disappointment you will ever experience that cannot be made worse by using.

      And to all those celebrating, don't pick up. Committing suicide is not an intelligent way to celebrate victory.

      The key is acceptance.  As the great sage once said, "Some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue."

      Face the day clean and find the happy spots.