Sunday, December 11, 2005

The Return of Life Sucks!!! Resentments ----

Hello again, and I apologize for how long it's taken me to get up a posting. What I've been doing is exploring the underside of recovery from several surgeries (Back, Knee, Heart, Heart Again, and Heart One More Effing Time!) along with infection, physical therapy, and trying to sort out the medications that actually help me from those that make me feel like crap and those that promise to send me back down into that special little hell of addiction. I don't want to jinx it, but right now I feel terrific. I even plan on skiing this year, and Dopes On Slopes, NA ski weekend, is at Sunday River, Maine January 27-29 2006. If you ride snow and show, look me up.

Today's thought is on resentment, a matter upon which I've had much experience the past couple of years:

It seems a recovering addict named Ralph developed a resentment at a particular NA meeting and stormed out of the meeting into the night. After a few days his fellow group members wondered what had happened to him. It was almost as though he had disappeared. They hired a private investigator to track him down, and in a few weeks they had the PI's report.

It turned out Ralph had left the meeting, went to the marina, got in his sailboat, and headed out to sea. It had taken some time, but the PI managed to locate the uninhabited desert island upon which Ralph had been stranded. The investigator couldn't bring Ralph back himself, but he gave the group instructions on how to reach the island. The group rented a boat and made sail, hoping that this experience had gotten through to Ralph about his resentments.

When they reached the island they found that not only was Ralph still alive, he had built a fine house to live in. With pride Ralph showed them the house's root cellar, porch, and garden. There was another structure they could see from Ralph's window and they asked him what it was."

"That's a church I built. I go to my NA meeting there."

Several of the members frowned, wondering how Ralph could have a meeting by himself, when one of the group looked out of another window and saw another structure. "What's that?" he asked Ralph.

Ralph scowled angrily and answered, "Oh, that's the meeting I used to go to."

*****

Remember, resenting someone is like taking a hammer, hitting yourself in the head, and saying, "Take that, you bastard!"

1 comment:

Flower said...

Great post!
The two Alanon lines that I love about resentment are: Expectations are Premeditated Resentments, and Resentments are like taking poison and hoping the other person dies.

When it comes to resentments I have to remember the 7th step before they beat me to the ground. It always amazes me when I say "HP remove this from me" and it's suddenly gone in that moment. I always feel a bit lost like "ok. .. I'm over this, what's going to take up my time" of course that's where amends or step 11 comes in.

Thanks for another great post!!
~Namaste